Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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