Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
