I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
