he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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