Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
