Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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