Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
