hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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