He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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