i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
