did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
