Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I have already put on my inside pants.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
