It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
