As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I think your dad took our porno
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
