can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
