Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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