I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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