I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I look better un-naked...
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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