we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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