like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
