that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
