Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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