You can't motorboat a personality
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
