How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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