The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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