also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
