if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize