Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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