I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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