Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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