remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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