Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
