I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
