You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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