Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
