Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
