guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
