i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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