she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
