I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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