Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
