the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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