My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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