I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
