Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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