I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize