I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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