Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
