I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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