Plan B is the new Plan A
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
