We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
