i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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