we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
