Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
