is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
