I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
40s are totally the cure
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
