i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
